Postcards: Lovely Surprises

Print of a painting: a scraggly-hared face with bloodshot eyes peeps above a brick wall topped with a bottle. A hand holds a cigarette.
Dear sis,
I still hear Mom’s voice when I pass by Creepy Pete’s alley. He’d peek his scraggly head over the wall, stinking of booze and cigarettes, and say, “Wanna see something interesting?”

“Nothing interesting about his penis,” Mom would say. “Keep walking.”

But last night, I thought: You know what? I DO want to see something interesting. So I stepped onto a crate and peered over the wall …

What I saw changed me. Below the eyeline, Creepy Pete was a marvelous eldritch creature! Below his sallow false face, another face, model-gorgeous, beckoned. Lower still, tentacles undulated. Iridescent scales shone in colors too vivid to be real.

Mom was wrong. Pete’s penis was very interesting.

Love,
Elly
Image of Mt. Rainier bathed in red light, with misty clouds.
Dear Jeanne,
I woke to rumbling and raced to my balcony to see The Mountain shrouded in red mist. Was it lava? Should I flee? I watched neighbors jump into cars and jam the roads. I made a coffee.
Tahoma’s ominous mist crested a hill, but in its wake was no fire-ravaged hellscape—I saw trees as tall as Redwoods, verdant with new growth. Buildings the mist touched dissolved into mossy hills; bears emerged yawning from hidden caves. Cars exploded into conspiracies of ravens, gaggles of geese, boils of hawks. People morphed into deer and foxes and badgers; roads bloomed with wildflowers.
The eruption will reach me soon. I should be afraid, but TBH I’m excited to start my new life as a marmot.
Love,
Leena

Fire & ice: winter tours in Iceland

Photo: Emily C. Skaftun Bárðarbunga from the air
Photo: Emily C. Skaftun
Bárðarbunga from the air.

I recently took a week off to visit Iceland. Iceland in winter. We’d been to the country before, right around the summer solstice, and loved it. So part of the impetus for this trip was to see how we felt about the place when it wasn’t summer—when it was covered in ice, and when the sun barely made an appearance. Continue reading “Fire & ice: winter tours in Iceland”

Family, and a poisonous corpse

It seems troubled family is on my mind.

Postcard of woman in red dress near a waterfall
Dear Tyler,
We’d hiked all day to get to the waterfall, like the guidebook said. It was supposed to be awesome. But we got there & there was no water. None. Like, the rocks were dry & there were dried-up fish bones in the riverbed. Then this lady in a bright red dress totally appeared out of nowhere. She looked creepy, man, right away. But Sam whistles at her. Her creepy eyes flash red & she spins around pointing at him & says, “Blood for water!” Then the waterfall starts back on like she opened a faucet. We all scrambled out of its path, but I don’t know what happened to Sam. We never found him. I think the witch got your brother.
Sorry, dude.
Robbie
Postcard of tiny plane and huge volcanic ash cloud
Dear Dad,
You’ll be happy to know that Susie is still a virgin—or at least she had this tribe fooled. After your last letter I tracked her halfway around the world, to a beautiful little island. She thought she had it made, because the natives were treating her like a princess (like you). She told me to get lost. But I stuck around long enough to decipher some stone carvings: virgin, volcano, sacrifice. Standard stuff really. I got to her just in time, swooping into the caldera in my little plane to pluck her from mid-air (who’s your favorite child now?). We’re on our way home now.
To recap: The good news: Susie is a virgin.
The bad news: there’s one less island in the ocean.
Love,
Eric
Postcard of Edvard Munch's "At the death bed"
Dear Gramma,
I’m sorry you’re dead and won’t receive this card. But I want to thank you for a couple of things. 1) Your snickerdoodle recipe. Because of it I was in the kitchen pulling cookies out of the oven at your wake when uncle Dwight decided to open your casket. Moron. Which brings me to 2) whatever chemical or bacteria or voodoo curse you had yourself buried with. It actually melted them, the whole aggravating lot of them. I had just time to watch as they dissolved into ghostly wraiths before I ran for it. And now I am free.
I love you, gramma. Rest in peace,
Kelly