Postcards: Cute, Fluffy & Powerful

Posted on by eskaftun

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Image of a white mouse perched on the lower jaw of something large and toothsome.
Dear Punky, Tonight, we take over the world, using the very creature who tried to eat us. The probes have been inserted into his brain, and a remote test showed all his voluntary functions under my control. With teeth and claws like this, I can’t fail! I trust you prepared my cockpit in his hollowed-out eyeball, and secured the passage to it through his sinuses, so into the mouth I go! This would be perilous if you hadn’t disabled his swallowing reflex. You did disable it, right? When next we meet I’ll be monster-emperor of the world! The Brian
Image of a shaggy sheep standing under a red post box in a grassy field with rocky hills behind.
Dear Applicant,

We at Muse-By-Mail appreciate your interest in our services. It’s not easy to admit you need supernatural help with your art, and it’s more difficult still to obtain the address and special postage required to deliver your card to our remote mailbox. Kudos.

You have requested inspiration for an epistolary project that will impress your friends and family. While this is a unique proposal, The Muses are not currently interested in inspiring it. We hope to see more of your groveling in the future. Next time, include an offering.

Sincerely,
Baabaara Gimmer,
Muse-By-Mail intern